starship troopers
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there's campy...and then there's starship troopers. for some hugely strange reason, i really love this movie. perhaps it gets the best worst movie award in my 4 hour long awards show. to accept the award, the movie would probably set up something to blow up while they were on stage and have bug guts splatter on the guests gallagher style...and i would also like that.

i don' t know why i like the movie. it's really just horrible, but there's some kind of unspoken beauty in it. it's great seeing the blend of semi-famous actors in a futuristic world where you fight bugs for citizenship.....and everytime you watch it, it gets better.

there is no reason that this movie has to be so bad. it was made in 97 along with other movies that did not include 70's style campiness. they did have money to make it. it just seems to be a sci-fi flick that they 'tried to do something different'. i'm not complaining though. how could you not love this movie with lines like..................
'you kill bugs good'
'You see a bug hole, YOU NUKE IT.'
'You're some sort of big, fat, smart-bug, aren't you?'

i am really fortunate that someone out there in the television programming world also loves this movie. starship troopers shows up, somehow, on tv about every other month. i catch it...always. i can't stop watching it once it's on. i must see the drama between the young kids from the BA(the cool futuristic name of buenos aries), i must see the infomercials for the armyand 'doing your part', i must see the troopers stick a nuke into a huge bug with a mouth that looks like....well let's just say amish wouldn't approve of it. i think the tagline sums it up "A GUNG-HO SCI-FI EPIC..."my friends hate me now for making them watch it whenever it's on. my kids are going to hate me in 35 years from now, when i make them watch it until they can recite lines with me.
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everyone has bathroom stories for some reason...here's mine.

i head to the bathroom at work. right before going into the bathroom i noticed an old, fat man moving in a snail-like fashion to his car. he wasn't really fat, but he was extremely round. a person that would not lose much speed to friction in a downhill race. So i go to the bathroom and get situated. all of a sudden i heard the door to the bathroom slam open...

cough..hack..hack....cough...uggghhh...guuuh....hack...sniff...hack...snnnuuuuffff.

i have no clue how he did it, but he really managed to make all of the sounds of coughing, hacking, snorting, and wheezing at the same time. i freak out. from the stall window (that crack that is always there so that you can time grand exists) i can see the same guy from outside moving across the room. he of course lands in the stall next to me, continuing to make the same ensemble of flem sounds. i'm concerned.....not for his health, but for my sanity. after a long day's work i really could not deal with making a statement to the police about all of the sounds that this creature was making while rolling to the bathroom for solice. i put a rush order on my delivery and book it out of the bathroom before something explodes and makes a new hole in the creature.

here's my statement of the day....all bathrooms should have smooth jazz being played loudly in them. NO ONE really wants to hear any sound that happens in or around a bathroom. If there was a way to mute my hearing I would do it when i'm about 50 ft from a bathroom and wouldn't turn it on until i'm at a safe distance from the warzone.
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call from grandma.....

gma->"hi...thank you for your bithday wishes...but it didn't help me find my pants"
me->"you lost your pants?"
gma->"yah, they were here...now i can't find them anywhere...your dad says they are here, but i think the dragon took them"
me->"i don't know what a dragon would do with your pants"
gma->"i don't know either, but if you find them, give me a call, and if i find them i'll give you a call"
me->"deal"